This weekend, I caught up on things, ran errands, cleaned the house and otherwise was as productive as I could be. While I was proud of myself for getting so much done, reading this awesome piece by thismustbematurity made me miss acting my age—23. With a majority of my friends scattered around the U.S., I haven’t really settled into the whole NYC nightlife scene and sometimes I feel like I’m missing out. I think it’s high time for me to get out, enjoy being 23 and stop (at least for a minute) worrying about everything I have to do.
thismustbematurity: (No Regrets)
There is certainly a time and place for everything, and this weekend, I spent my time being irrational, irresponsible, and wildly impulsive all over New York City. I drank a little too much, spent a little too much, danced on tables, and made out with the Russian bartender in dark corners of the East Village. I wore an outfit that bordered on trashy with heels so high I ate pavement twice. The next morning, I blew off errands and work that needed to be done, and instead, spent the day in bed with a warm body, eating Thai and watching reruns of old sitcoms. And you know what? For the first time in a long time, I regret nothing.
Usually, when I make subjectively “bad” decisions, I scold myself because I know better. I tell myself I’m too old for this nonsense, and too mature for games. I remind myself that I’ve been down these roads before; I know the outcomes, and I can already feel the consequences. But even though I’m not living at home anymore, even though I’m too old for hide-n-seek, even though I’m a college graduate, tax payer, and salaried employee, I still long to run barefoot outside whenever it rains. I still cry whenever I watch The Lion King. I still get irrationally angry when I don’t get my own way. Every once in a while, I eat dessert for dinner because it makes me feel like I’m getting away with something. Amidst the pressures and stressors of living an adult lifestyle, I forget that I’m still young enough to be stupid and immature from time to time.
I think twenty-somethings often hold themselves to the expectations of older adults whose lives would crumble the minute they decided to be irresponsible. However, we aren’t yet so entangled in our own affairs to indelibly alter the future with a few bad decisions. Sure, we work for corporations and report to big bosses. We pay our own bills and schedule doctor’s appointments. We recycle, buy organic, and do our own laundry. Some of us even willingly wear sunscreen because—one day, in the land of old and gray—we know every sexy tan we forgo means a few less wrinkles. But with the brashness of adolescence and freedom of childhood still crumpled in our back pockets, it’s hard to escape the urge to be audacious and carefree. Sometimes, we have to be a little selfish and spontaneous simply because we can.